And on the 8th Day?

It seems the tickers are flocking to my blog in droves for a diagnosis. It's a busy time, but I will attempt to cure you all. Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery. I request that you listen to the following tracks whilst waiting to be seen. These therapeutic tracks are the second and third steps down the path to recovery. The performance has kindly been provided by Sausage. And remember, take total, blessed care.

Ticking off the Tickers

It has been brought to my attention (and verified by statcounter) that Prescotti has tried to spam my blog by using his scoopergen viral email list to promote hate. This act is almost as low as the act of ticking itself.
These tickers are a breed unto themselves. I want to put a cross through every tick they make. To that effect I as a Doctor am performing my duty and qualifying ticking as a disease. Below are the notes from my initial observations;

"Tickers are characterized by qualitative impairment in social interaction, by stereotyped and restricted patterns of behavior, activities and interests, and by no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or general delay in language. Intense preoccupation with a narrow subject, one-sided verbosity, restricted prosody, and physical clumsiness are typical of the condition, but are not required for diagnosis."

If you encounter anyone who you think may be suffering from this 'syndrome' please be careful. I am working on a treatment as we speak and will not rest until I have a cure that is more ethical than a 9mm round to the head. Be alert but not alarmed - some of them are ugly fat bastards who like Nargis Kebabs and have fashioned their hair into a compensator mullet i.e. bald at front, compensating with a ponytail at back. Their own worst nightmare would be to hang out at a Vodka bar with hoards of leery teenagers....

The Doncaster

The Hotel which has it all! Well according to the website of colourful Kensington pub - "The Doncaster". Situated on Anzac parade, a short stroll from my office, it regularly gets a workout on a Friday afternoon when I choose to start my weekend. While I admit it doesn't have the intimacy or lively characters that you get other places I used to frequent on Friday evenings - i.e. The Gunmakers, its pretty good by Australian standards.
The beers available are the usual Australian megaswill fare with the only two decent selections available being Coopers Pale Ale (4.5% abv, Australian Sparkling Ale) and Stella Artois (4.9% abv, brewed in Australia). I should note that the Stella brewed down under is far removed from the piss served up in the UK. Its actually a nice beer here, bursting with B-Saaz flavour. Australia 1- UK -0.
I usually opt for the Coopers. I like the slight haze, soft mouthfeel with subtle spritz and a slight citrus edge from Victoria hops. I find that most Australian lagers are too carbonated and leave me feeling bloated after years of drinking flat real ale.
In other news, I am currently penning a soundtrack to the BeerTickers movie. I am writing the lyrics, and Sausage is going to be taking care of composition and performance. I plan to release the video clips shortly after Sausage releases the audio to the world. Keep a look out and take total care.
www.doncasterhotel.net.au

Brazilian Beer

Last Friday I caught up with some friends over an all you can eat feast of Brazilian BBQ meat. As always, a suitable beverage was required to cut through the fat and blend with the char/caramelised meat flavours. There were a few American Style IPA's on the menu which looked interesting, but a bitter malt monster wasn't going to cut it. I wanted something sharp, cold and carbonated so I opted for the only Brazilian offering - Palma Louca (4.5% abv). The beer was pretty good, and a wise choice to be paired with the cuisine available. The food was awesome as well and I highly recommend hitting up Braza in Leichardt for some top nosh.

Ticker Warning

Just a general warning to the community. Gazza Prescott, aka Prescotti is starring in a new film about ticking. Yes BeerTickers the movie is about to be released and tells the story of a number of bearded freaks and their adventures. If anybody at the media classification boards has any sense they would label this as not fit to be viewed by children, adults or any sane person. Really, do these twats really need an audience?

"‘BEERTICKERS: beyond the ale’ is a documentary film about a strange hobby, a British tradition, curiosity, collecting, obsession, and drinking good old real ale. Filmmaker Phil Parkin observes the beertickers in action, travelling to pubs and beer festivals while learning the rules and drinking real ales. He joins ‘Brian the Champ’, ‘Mick the Tick’ and ‘Dave Unpronounceable’ and lands himself a new nickname and quest to tick 500 different beers."

www.beertickersfilm.com

Amber Ale Sky

Yesterday morning was bizarre - a red dust cloud had descended across Sydney. It looked like you were viewing the world through a beer glass, James Squire Amber Ale of course!
The dust has since blown away, but its legacy is left as a blanket of dirt all over the car and my wife stuck in Melbourne due to her flight being cancelled yesterday afternoon. Looking out my office window now, everything appears to be back to normal. My boss made the comment/lame joke yesterday that he is seeing the world through rose coloured glasses - I responded that its like looking through beer goggles, except the fat chicks are still fat and the ugly girls still ugly!

Where has Sausage gone?

For some reason iconoclastic troll, serial pest and self appointed beer blog watchdog - Whorst aka "Sausage" has gone missing... Where is he? His blog is no longer available. Some people will be happy about this, but I personally will miss the constant shitting and war against boring video bloggers, CAMRA activists, Prescotti, Rudy, and oversized wine glasses. Sausage - I raise a glass in your memory.........

Reserved??

A couple of weeks ago I made the most of the beautiful 32 degree weather and took the ferry over to Manly for some lunch and a beer or two. It was a truly good day that was spoiled by one nasty incident I feel I should comment upon. Basically there is a "Bavarian Beer Cafe" at the wharf in Manly. We walked in an found an empty table and I plonked my way over to the bar to get a couple of drinks. Why we were enjoying our beer (I had a Paulaner Pils) a waiter type put a reserved sign on our table. Five minute later a manager type came and told us we had to move into the bar area as the table had been reserved. The table was not even in a great location with views or anything and there were several empty tables around as well. We were planning on having lunch there, but quickly changed our minds! I tried to explain the situation to the manager, but he wasn't budging on his position. As we refused to go inside he said our other option was to leave (we had half full beers at this stage) and that he would give us 2 minutes to finish our beer. So not only were we shocked by the rudeness of the staff, but also being encouraged to consume our drinks irresponsibly. I am not the first person to experience poor service at this establishment (click on the link to the Bavarian Beer Cafe above), but this really pissed me off. I urge all readers to boycott these pseudo German chain bars trading as Bavarian Beer Cafes. You as consumers deserve better.

BTW - I am way to lazy to maintain this blog with any frequency. I hope my excellent Google rankings work their way into their bottom line and new a new customer friendly establishment opens in this location in the future.

Free Beer, Food for Thought and Cash for Comment

Professional freelance beer writer Melissa Cole currently has her knickers in a twist over some blogger getting paid or demanding cash to post favourable views on beer. Now if some amateur was threatening my livelihood or whatever I would be a bit pissed off as well, but that's life. At one stage I was getting around 1000+ individual visitors per day on this blog but since reducing the frequency of my posts and moving back to Australia, those days are well behind me. I openly admit and have posted that I have received samples, meals and been invited to plenty of PR events and parties on the back of my blog. I have yet to receive any cash payments though so I am now throwing open the invitation. If you want me to say nice things about your brand, even if your product is shit - please send me money, and or beer! I have no integrity, but everyone knows that already......

BTW - I now online at home, that means I will have the ability to post more frequently.

TEN20 Commemorative Ale

I was recently gifted two bottles of James Squire TEN20 Commemorative Ale (7.9% abv) from my mate Greg the Rabbi. Last weekend I consumed one of the bottles. It was nice, but a little bit of a try hard attempt at something that could last the test of time. By saying this, it's no Fuller's Vintage. Is it a good beer? Yes it is, but its not brilliant. It's big by Australian standards, but not really that big a beer. It also tastes pretty similar to the home brew I have blogged about previously.

Anyway here is the official blurb. I'm to time pressed to write anything wholesome.

"Brewed with pale, Munich and carapils malts and hopped with deranged amounts of Australian hops (Galaxy and Super Pride) and American hops (Simcoe and Sterling), this gorgeous deep copper-coloured ale represents a blend of the imperial pale ale and barley wine styles. Dry hopping with NZ Pacific Hallertau creates the perfect herbaceous nose. The 60 BU’s of bitterness is tempered by the 7.9% ABV and the ale delivers a divine satisfaction with massive maltiness and ripe fruit esters. We suggest the 640ml bottle is best shared with a friend.
Only 1,900 cases of the Mad Brewers TEN20 Commemorative Ale have been produced, so beer lovers should join in this celebration and savour the rich flavours ASAP. The TEN20 Commemorative Ale is available from all good bottle shops nationally now or available to purchase on line by the case only"

A Little Surprise

Five years ago I was a fanatical home-brewer. I was well versed in the arts and applied my expertise in organic chemistry to produce amazing beers (if I do say so myself). Anyhow every now and then for one reason or another you produce a dud. The beer pictured in the over-sized wine glass on the left was one such example. It was brewed in the generic Amercian Pale Ale style with a touch of Cararoma for a slight toffee/nutty note and was modestly hopped with New Zealand grown Cascade hops. The result was a failure and the beer was over carbonated with a distinct Belgianesque funk to it. I was gutted at the time assuming that the beer had picked up a gusher infection. This prognosis was reasserted by the scum ring that had formed in the necks of the bottles.
Fast forward five years and I have returned to Australia and started to find my way back towards the brewing arts. Upon digging out my old kit I came across 15 or so long-neck bottles of this failed brew and decided to chill a couple of bottles to see whats going on. I felt at best the beer may pass as a lambic, but more than likely was going to taste like vinegar and have a trip down the drain. Guess what?? The beer is awesome, and probably the best beer I have ever brewed. I am guessing that I originally over-primed the bottles resulting in over-carbonation and an astringent bite from carbonic acid formed in the process. The continued fermentation must have carried on in the bottle resulted in a krausan ring in the neck. Over time the flavours must have come together to bring out the awesomeness that the beer is today. Anyhow I plan to recap the bottles to release some of the carbonation as its still slightly over-carbed and then enter it in the NSW state titles next year. I am surprised at how fresh the beer still tastes after 5 years in the bottle - remember that this isn't some imperial this/double that vintage ale, but a modest 4.5% APA. Remarkable.

REDOAK

I finally managed to get out and drink some beer on Friday night. In the craziness that has been the last few weeks I have had little time to drink beer let alone write about it. The destination was Redoak Boutique Beer Cafe on Clarence Street. I arrived a little ahead of my mates and had a swift half of the Organic Pale Ale (4.5% abv) which was good but hardly spectacular. I followed this by a half of their Belgian Pale Ale that was even better although didn't taste anything like any beer I had encountered in Belgium! I suppose it was trying to be a take on something like Kwak, but it kind of misses the mark. Friday also saw the arrival of a new member to the Redoak lineup, an IPA which one the 'World's Best IPA' at the World Beer Awards, UK (31 July 09). The beer was good, weighing in at 6.5% abv but was overly sweet and not really to style. As I have never heard about these particular awards before, I'm not sure if its genuine or just marketing spin. Anyhow the price of this beer is ridiculous and a pint set me back $13.50, which is about twice the price an equivalent beer would cost in London. Anyhow after the IPA I moved on to a couple of other venues and had some Little Creatures and Coopers Pale Ale and got pretty smashed before returning to Redoak for a (OK, I had two) nightcaps of their Robust Porter (6.5%). Overall I like Redoak as the beer is exceptional, however their prices are ridiculous. Given their location is at the fringe of the financial district - paying a premium is to be expected, but $13.50 a pint is taking the piss. But while the punters are willing to pay, I can't blame them for overcharging - the place was rammed.

About Redoak;
"Australia’s most awarded boutique beer café opened its doors in Sydney in mid 2004 and serves a range of boutique premium beers accompanied by a menu of exquisite cuisine. Redoak Brewery has had outstanding successes at the 2004 -2008 Australian International Beer Awards and has been Australia's most awarded brewery for the third consecutive year in 2007 and won 'Champion International Small Brewery' at AIBA 2008.

David started brewing beer at the age of 14 when he created his first ginger beer. He developed a passion for brewing beer in his teens and always dreamed of brewing a range of premium beers for the Australian market.

Over the years he developed his own unique methods of brewing specialty beers and has used these, along with some more traditional methods, to create the range available in the Redoak Boutique Beer Café.

Redoak’s unique beer styles

Redoak’s signature beer is the Framboise Froment, which is brewed in Belgian style with fresh raspberries infused resulting in intense flavours and aroma. This beer took home Gold and Best in Class medals at the 2004 awards and is proving highly popular with both men and women.

Another favourite is the Redoak Belgium Chocolate Stout, which is Australia’s first fully Belgian chocolate beer made by infusing Redoak’s Oatmeal Stout with the finest dark Belgian chocolate. David has also created another Australian first in the Redoak Belgium Choc-Cherry Stout, in which fresh cherries are used to create a luxurious sweet sensation.

Complementing the exotic premium range is the Redoak Organic Pale Ale, which was created using some traditional English brewing methods and only certified organic grown malt and hops. Redoak is the first brewery in New South Wales to create organic beers and the first in Australia to brew organic pale ale.

The Redoak Brewery currently brews over 40 premium beers, of which 20 are available at any one time at the Redoak Boutique Beer Café. Redoak was the first brewery in Australia to brew more than 10 of its own beers and has subsequently extended it's range of beers considerably.

All beers are created using only the highest quality ingredients, contain no additives, preservatives or added sugars. Redoak beers are not pasteurised and are served fresh.

Redoak matches premium beer with fine cuisine

In addition to premium quality beers, Janet and David offer a menu of exquisite gourmet cuisine, developed together with Head Chef Chris Beard as the perfect accompaniment to the Redoak beer range.

Diners at the Redoak Boutique Beer Café can choose from a selection of tempting dishes made with quality ingredients. Redoak has specially combined food and beer to create a unique experience for the customer. Janet Hollyoak said, “Each dish uses carefully selected premium Australian produce and is complimented with a unique beer style to provide the diner with a unique tasting experience.”

Redoak has created a beer appreciation course to take customers through the brewery history, process and special qualities and characteristics that define a premium beer. Customers can then enjoy the fine cuisine complimented by a Redoak beer, while being taken through the individual flavour and aroma profiles of different beer styles.

The Café also offers unique Tasting Boards – the first of their kind in Australia. The Tasting Boards each hold four canapé style dishes that are matched with four different Redoak premium beers. The boards are designed to enable diners to experience the unique cuisine and premium beers. The tastes and flavours of the dishes and beer are enhanced as the diners palate develops when they move across the board.

Janet and David have created a stylish boutique beer café which is uniquely different in many ways to any other drinking or eating establishment in Sydney or across Australia. Every aspect has been put together with the upmost detail. For example, the bar tops are made from 700 year old jarrah timber sourced from West Australia’s famous Fremantle Wool Store and decorated with Italian mosaic tiling."

Nothing to see here, move along

I have nothing interesting to say, but feel I should blog anyway. I only managed to have a few beers over the weekend and pretty vanilla ones at that. On Friday night I went to Thalen's fancy dress restaurant in King's Cross. It was OK and I got the best part of a dozen Carlton Draughts down my neck. It may be cold, wet and tasteless but it still gets you pissed which is what drinking beer is all about. Don't intellectualise the exercise and try and get poncy about it. We drink to enjoy the effects of alcohol. If the beer is good, then that is a bonus!
On Saturday I awoke early and started to mess around with my new TV. It's pretty special to me as I have had the worlds smallest CRT for the last 4 years. Digital TV is broadcast in 1080i or 720p HD in Australia so it truly is a treat to watch. I only had one beer on Saturday and that was a Warsteiner. It's OK as far as the style goes, but I prefer a bit more bitterness.
Sunday was fathers day and I met my family at a nice cafe and sat in the sun eating breakfast and exchanging insults with my siblings. I had a roaring headache so I made the executive decision not to have a beer, although I noticed that my brother had helped himself to the small stash I keep at my parents house for the odd occasion when I want to drink something there. I also racked my two can screamer into a cube and put it in the fridge for cold conditioning. The pint I poured myself (which I drank, so I actually didn't stick to my executive decision) straight from the fermenter was malty with a slight acetaldehyde taste and a firm bitterness. A couple of weeks in the fridge should see it in fine drinkable form. I still haven't decided whether to bottle it or pull it through one of my beer engines. I might run a poll in a week or so to let you the discerning reader decide.....

Regent Hotel

I have been pretty slack lately. I still haven't sorted out Internet at the new flat and I have been busy at work. I have not really had a decent session on the turps in a while either which doesn't help. Anyhow, not far from my office is an OK pub called the Regent Hotel (stalkers can probably work out where my new job is located). They do a good counter lunch and have both James Squire Golden Ale (pictured) and Cooper's Pale Ale in proper real keg form. The guys at work like nothing better than getting amongst it during a lunch hour which suits my cultural preferences down to a tea. Last Friday I also ventured to the Kirribilli Club, an RSL aligned club not far my phat flat. They had two interesting beers on in proper real keg. James Squire Amber Ale and Baron's Pale Ale which went down a treat (about 10 schooners in total), even considering I was backing up from an impressive lunchtime session at the Regent. Currently in the fridge at home I have a six pack of Warsteiner and a 5L minikeg of Bitburger I want to smash ASAP. Tonight will be a good night as I'm off the Tharens in Kings Cross for dinner. It's an all you can drink affair so I will be giving it a good nudge to ensure I get my moneys worth. Sadly beers on offer are limited to Tooheys New and Carlton Draught - not complete shit, but not really exciting either. Tomorrow I plan to rack my two can screamer into a cube for some cold conditioning love. I'll post about that sometime next week. I'll also post about my new 50" plasma TV that I have been having wet dreams about. Till then I will leave you with the lovely Sydney Harbour which I get to enjoy on a daily basis. I live less than 300 meters from the landmarks in the pictures. It's a hard knock life!