Paranoid

There seems to be a lot of paranoid types in the beer world at the moment. It's evident from the number of impersonators currently infiltrating the comments section of various blogs. It seems that Jeff (Stonch), Tandleman, Sausage, Barry and I all seem to have people pretending to be us. I really don't care as it just shows how weird most people in the beer blog world tend to be.

This post goes out to Barry. It has been brought to my attention that Barry has updated his user profile and states he is "Currently being cyber stalked and impersonated by Tim." He has also setup a flame blog called The Chronicles Of Timmy.
Whatever...... If you need to blog about me you obviously have too much time on your hands. But thanks for caring.

This track goes out to you.
.

Barry

Whilst in Melbourne I ran into one of my favourite tickers Barry. I won't go into too many details of the conversation but I will share a picture of what happens when you tick too often. Take total blessed care!

Reidsdale Gold

Reidsdale Gold (9.6% abv) is a sparkling cider made in the Southern Tablelands at the Old Cheese Factory. Made from apples sourced from local orchards and trees found on the roadside in the Braidwood region it reeks of provenance and terroir. The cider itself is complicated, semi-sweet and slightly sharp but is well balanced. Being brewed from both cider and non-cider variety apples it tastes similar to Westons Old Rosie but with the mouth feel and slight carbonation prickle of an Irish style cider such as Magners or Bulmers. Over all its a decent drink and more of a sipper than a hot summer afternoon quaffer.
The sample we had at the cellar door tasted a lot sharper than the bottle I am writing about here. This could be either oxidation of the sample we had at the cellar door which may have been opened a few days before hand, or it could be inconsistencies in production from batch to batch. We are talking about cottage industry style production here after all.
Sully's Cider have a number of other varieties becoming available such as Monga Mist, which is a cloudy cider made from apples scrumped from the Monga State Forest region of NSW and an apple and blackberry wine. I'll investigate these further and post in due course.

In other news, yesterday I planted three new hop rhizomes. The varieties are Chinook, Victoria and Pride of Ringwood. The planting is a little late, but hopefully they will establish themselves quickly. I'll propagate them and run a few new rows in my hop garden when they are ready.

BTW - I have decided to expand the scope a little to discuss cider as well due to my latest apple related adventures. Also I guess tickers may be frustrated as I will be clocking up a few beverages which they will not have access to . Boo Hoo

Has Ticking become too Easy?

Has ticking become too easy? Listen to Sausage's latest Chronicle where he interviews the bald, fat, super twat Prescotti about ticking in the olden days vs. ticking today. Have CAMRA beer festivals made it too easy? and is it really that hard to find a beer in Budapest. I tend to think not, but Prescotti struggled.... Why, because he doesn't speak the language even though 90% of them speak English, I guess they struggle to understand his ridiculous thicko Northern Accent.
Thanks Sausage for the scoop (no pun intended) on this interview.

Download the latest Chronicle here.

Nargis Kebab Mania

Sausage has drawn to my attention some kind of weird symbiotic relationship between Tickers and the Nargis Kebab. Prescotti even runs a website dedicated to the strange exotic delicacy. Sausage has quietly penned a song called Nargis Kebab nights which is free to download from the link below. Enjoy.

I Love to Count

It has been brought to my attention that ticking is an affliction that you are born with. Just like the Count on Sesame Street loved to count, tickers, love to "Tick". It is television programming such as this simple animation that has resulted in such weird behaviour as ticking and trolling this very blog. Again, take total care.

And on the 8th Day?

It seems the tickers are flocking to my blog in droves for a diagnosis. It's a busy time, but I will attempt to cure you all. Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery. I request that you listen to the following tracks whilst waiting to be seen. These therapeutic tracks are the second and third steps down the path to recovery. The performance has kindly been provided by Sausage. And remember, take total, blessed care.

Ticking off the Tickers

It has been brought to my attention (and verified by statcounter) that Prescotti has tried to spam my blog by using his scoopergen viral email list to promote hate. This act is almost as low as the act of ticking itself.
These tickers are a breed unto themselves. I want to put a cross through every tick they make. To that effect I as a Doctor am performing my duty and qualifying ticking as a disease. Below are the notes from my initial observations;

"Tickers are characterized by qualitative impairment in social interaction, by stereotyped and restricted patterns of behavior, activities and interests, and by no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or general delay in language. Intense preoccupation with a narrow subject, one-sided verbosity, restricted prosody, and physical clumsiness are typical of the condition, but are not required for diagnosis."

If you encounter anyone who you think may be suffering from this 'syndrome' please be careful. I am working on a treatment as we speak and will not rest until I have a cure that is more ethical than a 9mm round to the head. Be alert but not alarmed - some of them are ugly fat bastards who like Nargis Kebabs and have fashioned their hair into a compensator mullet i.e. bald at front, compensating with a ponytail at back. Their own worst nightmare would be to hang out at a Vodka bar with hoards of leery teenagers....

The Doncaster

The Hotel which has it all! Well according to the website of colourful Kensington pub - "The Doncaster". Situated on Anzac parade, a short stroll from my office, it regularly gets a workout on a Friday afternoon when I choose to start my weekend. While I admit it doesn't have the intimacy or lively characters that you get other places I used to frequent on Friday evenings - i.e. The Gunmakers, its pretty good by Australian standards.
The beers available are the usual Australian megaswill fare with the only two decent selections available being Coopers Pale Ale (4.5% abv, Australian Sparkling Ale) and Stella Artois (4.9% abv, brewed in Australia). I should note that the Stella brewed down under is far removed from the piss served up in the UK. Its actually a nice beer here, bursting with B-Saaz flavour. Australia 1- UK -0.
I usually opt for the Coopers. I like the slight haze, soft mouthfeel with subtle spritz and a slight citrus edge from Victoria hops. I find that most Australian lagers are too carbonated and leave me feeling bloated after years of drinking flat real ale.
In other news, I am currently penning a soundtrack to the BeerTickers movie. I am writing the lyrics, and Sausage is going to be taking care of composition and performance. I plan to release the video clips shortly after Sausage releases the audio to the world. Keep a look out and take total care.
www.doncasterhotel.net.au

Ticker Warning

Just a general warning to the community. Gazza Prescott, aka Prescotti is starring in a new film about ticking. Yes BeerTickers the movie is about to be released and tells the story of a number of bearded freaks and their adventures. If anybody at the media classification boards has any sense they would label this as not fit to be viewed by children, adults or any sane person. Really, do these twats really need an audience?

"‘BEERTICKERS: beyond the ale’ is a documentary film about a strange hobby, a British tradition, curiosity, collecting, obsession, and drinking good old real ale. Filmmaker Phil Parkin observes the beertickers in action, travelling to pubs and beer festivals while learning the rules and drinking real ales. He joins ‘Brian the Champ’, ‘Mick the Tick’ and ‘Dave Unpronounceable’ and lands himself a new nickname and quest to tick 500 different beers."

www.beertickersfilm.com

What is a Ticker?

Welcome to the new updated Beer Diary. For a while now, I have felt like I am becoming more and more like a ticker, or a scooper. To be honest, I really have no aspiration to be one as there is no possible way that I can drink every commercial beer available (nor do I want to). A while back Prof. Pilsner asked me what a ticker was. My response is below;

"A ticker is a breed that are found in the UK (usually around CAMRA sanctioned events) or internationally on the web site Ratebeer. The general sterotype is bushy beard, plastic bag carrying sandwiches and attrired in a fleece (or rex hunt style fishing vest) and usually a notebook. These strange creatures will drink beers in half pints or thirds and make notes on each beer. Their mission is to rate and evaluate every beer possible, much the same as some bird watchers tick of species after sighting them. They can be observed at any CAMRA beer festival with their programs in hand, ticking off the beers as they drink their small measure."

I still think this holds true. Whilst I am the first to admit that I am a beer geek of the highest order, I do not consider myself a ticker.
For those interested in more info, be sure to read these official rules of ticking!
Welcome to the new Beer Diary!

Ticker's wet dream

I forgot to post this the other day when talking about Brouge. It appears to be a menu card with tick boxes. That right, a tickers wet dream with several prizes to collect as you drink your way through the menu. Personally, the thought of drinking so much Belgian beer turns me off, but not as much as the encouragement of tickers. But then, I have become an accidental ticker! As I have mentioned before, this blog will be getting an overhall in format and appearance in the new year.

Bazen's Pacific Bitter

Last Wednesday afternoon I managed to get along to the Ealing beer festival which was held in Warpole park. For those of you who have never been before, the Ealing beer festival is one of the better regional CAMRA events held in central London. In general you do not get the hardcore tribe of anorak or fleece wearing tickers with their plastic bags and grizzly beards. The crowd is more relaxed than the usual beer festival, and the fact that it's held outdoors in an attractive garden makes it a pleasant way to spend an evening. First up I opted to go for Pacific Bitter (3.8% abv) from Richard and June Bazen's Brewery. The Brazens' Brewery is located in Salford and is a relative newcomer to the brewing scene being established only in 2002. The brewing expertise is provided by Richard, who has been a brewer at Phoenix, Haywood; Bridgewater Ales; and also Holt, Plant and Deakin. Pacific Bitter is a light amber coloured ale, which is pretty tasty! So tasty in fact that of all the beers that I had last Wednesday I am going to say that this one was the best. The beer has a nice fruity aroma, which passes by to a solid malt taste, with a dry citrus laden bitter aftertaste. A nice beer. According to the website, the beer is made from the original Bridgewater Ale's Navigator recipe which was one of CAMRA's top 100 beers in 2000.

For those of you who may not be 100% sure of what a ticker looks like, the picture below is of a lone ticker identified from the crowd last Wednesday.